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Paoletti

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Every relationship has milestones. Moments when you level up. Events that signify a deepening of the commitment. Things like becoming exclusive, moving in together, getting married, and promise rings, I guess? But that’s all for show. Here are the true indicators of how serious your relationship is. 

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Deleting your dating apps

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This is the first step in the shift from “seeing each other” to being in a relationship. While this isn’t saying you’re a couple, or even exclusive, it is saying that you’re not actively trying to hook up with other people. This may be something that is talked about and done together, but more often than not it’s a personal choice. By deleting your dating apps, you’re saying, “I’m going to see where this thing goes.” Would you still hook up with someone you meet in a bar? Maybe. Would you say no to a date if the opportunity presented itself? You don’t know. All you know is that you’ve found someone that you like more than mindlessly judging people while swiping. It sounds small, but it feels big.

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Sharing phone passwords

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You, sir or madam, are in an exclusive relationship. Or you get off on the thrill of danger, I suppose. Again, this milestone may have come casually, almost accidentally. You told you boyfriend your passcode so he could use your phone to change the Spotify song. You revealed your password so your girlfriend could open up Google Maps and figure out just how lost you guys were. Then, in act of apathy/trust, you didn’t change your password. 

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This usually means you have nothing to hide, and are therefore in a relationship. You don’t go sharing passcodes if you’ve got side pieces hitting you up. Of course, there is still the understanding that snooping through your phone is a huge invasion of privacy, but the fact that you’re not worried about anything on there says a lot about the seriousness of your relationship. 

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Being added into the friend group chat

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Y’all are considered “a serious relationship.” I’m not saying there’s wedding bells, or even moving-in-together-bells in your near future, but you’re not a newly fledged relationship. You’ve met each other’s friends, they’ve approved, and you’ve hung out to the point where you’d consider them, if not your friends, then your “almost friends.” 

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Obviously, their friend group has its own group chat without you, but there is also a group chat that involves you. It may have started just to share information for Friendsgiving, or to coordinate a bar crawl, but through the sharing of memes and jokes, it’s official. You have been accepted as part of the crew.  

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Being invited on a family vacation

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Oh, shit. Do I hear wedding bells? Haha, just playing, just playing. But seriously. They hear wedding bells. If you’re rolling with their family on vacation, they see you as part of the family. That’s some serious shit. You two have been dating long enough to have met, and gotten to know, their family. They like you, they accept you as a pre-son/daughter-in-law, and now you get to join them for a week in the Bahamas. Live it up, because this relationship is getting very serious, very fast.

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Being listed as an emergency contact

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Duuuude, they trust the hell out of you. You’re the person that gets called if there’s an emergency. Sure, it sounds innocent enough. They probably texted you one day and said “BTW, just put you down as my emergency contact for work. No pressure, my life is in your hands lol.” Don’t let that “lol” fool you. This is some real shit. Will you ever get called? Hopefully not. Did they put you down because their parents live 600 miles away and wouldn’t be able to help? Definitely. But that doesn’t mean this isn’t serious.

If your significant other tells you they’re putting you down as their emergency contact and you have zero intentions of marrying them, it’s time to break up. This is them subtly telling you they think you’re the real thing, and if that’s not what you’re feeling, you’ve got to come clean. If you’re not willing to get thrown out of a hospital for causing a scene because you’re worried about them, then you’re not ready to be their emergency contact.

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Pooping with the door open

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Congratulations on your upcoming wedding! This milestone is both a gift and a curse. On one hand, you have someone that you’re so in love with and supportive of that you’re ok with being together in your most vulnerable moment. On the other hand, the magic is officially gone from your relationship. The day your partner only half-closes the bathroom door before dropping their pants is the day the honeymoon portion of your relationship has officially ended. You’ve traded in butterflies, excitement, and sexual fireworks for commitment and unconditional support. Congrats, I think?